Bronzino Goes To Gad

You try fitting 16 weird words into one semi-sensible gallery review, that rhymes and explicates en route. No picnic, I promise.

(For new browsers, take a peek at the vocab quiz a few posts ago – and this ditty might add up, slightly. Coming soon, half-a-dozen cryptic clues that remain cryptic, even with their answers attached. Stay tooned.)

In the back lanes of Rome

There’s a grisaille (monochrome)

Painting by Bronzino,

A Florentine bambino,

Depicting in variant greens -

Like seaweed (carragheens)

And lettuce (such as Dyers

rocket) – the rampant fires

Of Gad, with Israelites

Engaged in holy fights,

Much as will one day occur

In Imphal, in Manipur.

Now I don’t wish to blame,

Or animadvert, Bronzino’s name,

Nor the Catholic Church,

But my oppo (Opposition Research)

And native-born cynicism

Says the work bears anachronism,

Like the child’s game (tipcat)

Observed on Jordan’s flat,

Or the trumpeter near the top

Playing a modern double stop.

And note the guard ring

Protecting a ruby thing -

Being no jeweller, let’s skip

Nouns, and dub the jewel an oojamaflip -

The size of a Maris piper (spud)

The colour of Turkish (turco) blood

Upon a slaphead (hairless on top)

Of a Russian OGPU cop.

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