Gifted Gabs
Puns this week, where the vavavoom lurks in all the variants on the verb to ‘say’. Like these for example:
‘These papers need to fresh assessment,’ she remarks.
‘Gluttony is wrong,’ the priest insinuated.
‘I’ve lost a little weight,’ I announce.
‘Your turn to bat,’ Ponting declares.
Be inventive. Be sly. But most of all, be remark-able. Three prizes to be articulated come the end of the working week, with The Honourable Mention, The Major Announce and The Utter Brilliant to be distributed among the most gifted gabbers.
Should one Stormer’s post inspire a follow-up gag, or a variation, then obey the Muse, since no one owns a mortgage on any one verb or pun tangent. Ours is an open discourse. Let’s just see if we concoct an oral thesaurus of killer comments. You have my say-so.
February 23rd, 2010 at 10:17 am
I’ll get the ball rolling with the following three-part punning verb :
“The child support cheque’s in the mail,” the deadbeat dad expostulated
February 23rd, 2010 at 10:38 am
It’s a shame this verb has become an anachronism
“I apologise if I have come a little early, Madam,” the gentleman-caller ejaculated
February 23rd, 2010 at 10:41 am
Thanks marmaloid. Glad we got that verb sorted prematurely.
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:26 am
“Your carburettors have been replaced” the mechanic injected.
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:30 am
“I can’t stand this !” the chemist retorted.
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:35 am
Political effort:
“I’m leaving Federal politics. Look out Barry O’Farrell,” Malcolm Turnbull stated.
February 23rd, 2010 at 12:09 pm
“I’ve spent a fortune building the world’s largest artificial mountain on this former flat stretch of ground,” the eccentric billionaire explained.
February 23rd, 2010 at 12:17 pm
“Well, I think we need to overturn Roe vs Wade,” the American politician retorted
February 23rd, 2010 at 12:20 pm
“I quit!” the bell-ringer extolled
February 23rd, 2010 at 12:22 pm
“What a beautiful picture,” Narcissus reflected
February 23rd, 2010 at 12:52 pm
‘Hey, wanna buy a comb?!’ he bawled.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:04 pm
“I liked ‘The Name of the Rose’ too,” he echoed
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:06 pm
“Well from now on I’ll take my business elsewhere!” the policy holder exclaimed.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:12 pm
“The killer was either him, her, you, them, me, it, or us,” the detective pronounced.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:16 pm
“Mmm, you’re right, these bacon and peanut butter rolls with jelly, are fantastic,” Elvis agreed.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:33 pm
“You really should get into these groovy new habits”, the nun insisted.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:37 pm
“I didn’t make the football team” little Johnny sighed.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:39 pm
“This dog has fleas”, the vet muttered.
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:42 pm
“Our product is the best on the market”, the salesman replied.
February 23rd, 2010 at 2:08 pm
“You’ll never guess my favourite ‘Star Wars’ character,” the fanboy jabbered
February 23rd, 2010 at 2:53 pm
“This mattress doesn’t give me adequate back support” she protested.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:02 pm
“Look, I’m not gay anymore”, Lucifer demonstrated.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:07 pm
“I propose to outlaw the Communist Party,” Sir Robert Menzies read out
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:31 pm
‘Several brilliant examples from several repeat offenders,’ DA riposted.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:33 pm
“Hello, Is this Work Cover? I’ve done my back in” she proclaimed.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:38 pm
‘I didn’t realise she was your wife,” Wayne Carey concocted
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Since puns seem to be the order of the day, I may as well go for a double
“Man, I really tied one on last night!” the hungover prosthetic-limb technician regretfully remembered
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:50 pm
“You’re the first punter we’ve had all night,” the doorman admitted
“That could be because the pub down the road is selling half-price drinks tonight,” the customer guessed.
February 24th, 2010 at 8:25 am
‘Psssst….wanna work for Gunns?’ he coaxed.
February 24th, 2010 at 10:39 am
“I’m guessing that you’ve discarded a pair of twos”, the poker player deduced.
February 24th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
“It’s one of those things radiating out from the centre of the wheel,” spoke the cyclist.
February 24th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Just one more…
” How about I shift a little to the right?”, she proposed.
February 24th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
“I’ve been left on the shelf,” Cliff alleged.
February 24th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
“Would you like me to juggle and sing a madrigal?” Columbine suggested.
February 24th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
“This needle won’t hurt,’” jabbered the GP.
February 24th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
“I need a drink,” she whined.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:35 am
“How much paper do we need ?” the trainee enquired.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:40 am
‘Victory,’ Winston Churchill vindicated.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:27 am
“e e e e e e e……” Flipper purported.
February 25th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
‘JD, congratulations,’ DA aggrandised [seriously], ‘your last quip was Post Number 1000 on this blog.’
February 25th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
“999,..1000,…1001….” JD countered.
Thanks to you DA for providing this everchanging source of challenge and entertainment. Glad to be part of it.
February 25th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
“Look! That lawl smaidel is hoating fly!” the Reverend spoonerised.
February 27th, 2010 at 8:14 am
‘Well Done, JD.’ DK Rarely patronised.