Celebabes
Fifi Trixibelle Geldof has a name only slightly more bizarre than her sister, Peaches. And dare we mention Sage Moonblood Stallone or Kal-El Cage?
Meanwhile Dweezil Zappa is still cranking out rock riffs, almost twenty years after losing his dad, Frank. Though lately Zowie Bowie directs films (including the recent Moon) under the genteel alias of Duncan Jones.
Anyhow – in the wake of the Academy Awards – let’s invent some kooky babies whose names can make strange-and-wonderful connections with their famous surnames.
If Dweezil and Moonblood are any guide, no orthodoxy really exists. Though obviously the surname you choose (like Paltrow or Stallone – either mum or dad) needs to match. Here’s my early shot at christening:
Twins for Russell: Scaire and Eton Crowe
Show-Mi De Niro
Amabo Obama
Lose-Too Winfrey
Tonzelle Hockey
Pick any well-known name from around the traps – at home or abroad, in arts or biz, Tinsel Town or downtown. Just make the baby name aptly ridiculous, and create some eye-catching synergy with the surname of choice. You have till late Friday to get thee to a font.
Let’s look for three winners this week, in honour of Meryl’s famous triplets: Sesame Streep (2.3kg), Mayne Streep (3.4kg) and Koala T Streep (5kgs). Quick, the obstetric ward awaits.
March 9th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
To get the ball rolling:
A. Bess Abbott
Sue-Spension Bridges
Toost Depp
Phyllm Starr
Decc Cameron
Dhayly Knightley
March 9th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
As it is a rule that any celebrity-based Brainstorm must feature Naomi Watts, let’s start off with her triplets:
Killer, Megger and Gigger
March 9th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Always happy to host Ms Watts. And welcome to the Storm, Fred.
Toying with celebs, it’s not just pun-play of course. We might give Rusty two more twins – Hecuba and Jekyll – or the larger Maximus and his kid sis Minima.
Feel free to dabble in allusion, re the name or the celeb themselves. Any writs, I’ll pass them on your way.
March 9th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I remembered that Frank Zappa also had a daughter called Moon Unit, but I didn’t realise (thanks wikipedia) he also had ‘Ahmet Emuukha Rodan Zappa’ and ‘Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa’!
Hard to top those, but how about:
Spike and Cherri Pitt
Matador Turnbull
Tara Tina Tarantino
March 9th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
From the worlds of cycling and motor racing:
Leguique Armstrong
Thannque Evans
Khobla Schumaker
Playitte Lauda
March 9th, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Buggy Zappa
Xenya Bingle
Myna Major
Ruth Thatcher
Narzdi Abbott
Wehl, Thyme and Waugh Warne
Newk…..Astle
Inda Nile
Grassy Noll
High Jagger
Idoant Carey
Billwun Benaud
Daddy Newmar
Con Pletely Blewett
Shake Spears
Dorsel Finn
March 9th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Ho-Am Lohan
Woffa Dickens
Turnit Hoffmann
Nod De Generes
March 9th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
Edit: Bill-Juan Benaud
March 10th, 2010 at 1:08 am
Horr Keating (will always remember how his/her dad cannibalised the competition to gain power)
March 10th, 2010 at 1:10 am
Chu-Chu Twain
March 10th, 2010 at 1:14 am
Fahtoub Leary (would have always remembered that while drug-taking was the key to his/her dad’s research, it also made it mighty hard for him to write said work down
March 10th, 2010 at 1:26 am
Ken Tuckey (will always remember which Bourbon was the single greatest influence on his father’s political views)
March 10th, 2010 at 8:26 am
Fleem Arquette
Dishran Witherspoon
Zirconia Silverstone
March 10th, 2010 at 9:21 am
Moon Walken
Ruyton Wong
Dresse Frehley
Benarneff Ritter
March 10th, 2010 at 9:31 am
Ishotha Shariff
Proper Ghandi
Imogen Hanson
Leave Me Stallone
Kobbin Coe
Robin’s family – Mother , Father, Brother and Sister Hood
Leifer Mitterand
Lukat Lukat Moimoi
Spider Mandela
George Michael Cortina Waterhouse
St Bernard Bach
Wes Thurry Mozart
Rothov Khan
Sugar Freeman
Nuclear Warhurst
Stacconna Rafter
Cantrek Collette
Mess Sitch
Missin Barton
Di Iemma
Anne-Di Wran
P. Ann O. Cruise
Pumpa Nicholson
Mita Kubrick
Cara Melfre Austen
Saurus Bronte
Juicy Garret
Justin Case
Rabbit Hutchence
Wedya Parker-Bowles
Awl Callea
Coyner/Rhi Fraser
Bro Ken Holmes
Inta Lincoln
Juan Loda Washington
Flying Chaucer
Cauliflower O. Grattan
Aisleica Hawke
Outdora Camplin
Pura Daltrey
Fresh Lenin
Suchsus Spencer
Wotzya Damon
Bankstown Trotsky
Oscar The Gauci
March 10th, 2010 at 10:17 am
Ging Ganguly
Woffa Hekis Muraliaduran
Raida Ovalost Arquette
March 10th, 2010 at 11:49 am
Moving away from the (awesome) selection of puns, if Sandra Bullock conceives twins this year she might christen them:
Oscar and Razzie
March 10th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Awesome + abundant, no doubt. In the ongoing spirit of allusion:
Chastity and Virginia Faithfull
Neil and Buzz Spacey
Cordelia and Goneril Reagan
Vajazzle Bush
Apple Newton-John
Jingle and Rudolph Carell
March 10th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
… and of course Bill keeps spawning an endless horde of Gates:
Water (the oldest), Ute, Contra, Camilla, Iguana …
March 10th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Karma Downer
Sexma Sheen
March 10th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Get thee to Tinsel Town, DG. You’ve found your calling.
(Something tells me you liked Batty Book gags as a kid…)
Some brilliant stuff from your corner.
March 10th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Thank God for Melbourne Cup-winning jockey Blake Shinn:
Mish, Anna-Mae & O. Shinn
March 10th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Batty Books?
I’m reminded of the amusing prank where airport staff inadvertently read over the PA system rude statements written as foreign-sounding names (e.g. ‘Arhevbin Fayed’ sounds like “I have been fired”) It’s all rather rude and lowbrow, but clever nonetheless.
http://www.netjeff.com/humor/audio/AirportPrank.html
March 11th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Heedie Spooner