QUALITY MOCK-NEWS
Mozart to iSnack.
Lady Di to JFK.
Holt to Bart.
This was a Brainstorm to embrace both the news and the alphabet with equal vim (and using phrases like EQUAL VIM).
We heard about DUMB ACKER and BP OIL GUSH. Visited ISRAEL – both the nation and the footballer. Even heard about HAZY JUG FIBS, which may have occurred in a certain Manhattan nightclub for the QLD PM.
But prizes beckoned, our make-believe Walkleys in six categories – best from the Past, the Present and Future. And longest (still making good sense) in all three time-zones too. And here’s the honour roll, hot off the presses:
Best past headline:
Mr X for capturing the tabloid spirit, as well as the Flemington parlance: BART’S WON CUP FIVE!
Longest past headline:
DG, who could have won best with the same 17-lettered entry. It’s conspiratorial and glorious all wrapped into one: JFK SHOT BY CIA MULE
Best Current Headline:
JD went close with talk of FERGY IN MUD, though in respect for overnight events, and sheer artistry of composition, I couldn’t resist DG’s bittersweet: SCHIAVONE FLUKY
Longest Current Headline:
Mr X and DG could do the hokey-pokey on this one, swapping positions between Best nad Longest, as this Supertax effort is superb and that magical 17-letter count too: BHP AND RIO GET SULKY
Best Future Headline
Loved talk of MARS UFO and WORLD CUP GAMES, but chuckled most at marmaloid’s cleverness, one that evokes a timeless hack’s cliché, as well as a possible typo: MAN BITES DOUG (and cleverly modernised by DG as well: HUMAN BITES DOG).
Longest Future Headline
No bell-ringers in this category, oddly, but that doesn’t detract from Simon L’s scam of 2055, an elegant creation of half the alphabet: VENUS TRIP HOAX!
To sum this week’s Storm up in kindred spirit: MY – A SUPERB DOING.